I’ve never really been one for New Years resolutions. I’m of the opinion that they’re dumb, and leave you feeling bad about yourself once you break them. I think, to change yourself, you have to reach that point where you just can’t handle the way things are any more, and that’s the only thing left to try.
I’ve never really thought of myself as having an addictive personality. I’m beginning to think I have a problem though. I love food. Not just food, but sugar especially. Three months ago, I would be eating fast food almost every day. Chocolate and gummy bears? Yes, please!! Then things got serious. Veeerrryyy slow healing times, people that care about me getting frustrated, and most of all, I was getting disgusted with myself.
I eat vegetables now. Many, many vegetables. I even make stir fry with asparagus. I have no idea how to make stir fry. Or what in the world a person is supposed to do with asparagus. I started watching what I eat religiously. I look at every single label of every single thing I put in my mouth. How much of this can I eat before I fill the carbs of my meal plan? Will I feel full after? If not, back on the shelf it goes. New favorite weapon? Wasa crackers with cheese (low fat, of course). Three of them are only 15 g of carbs! It’s very exciting. The only drawback is it resembles chewing on a crusty piece of cardboard. Minor detail really.
Last month, I decided to have a “cheating day”. It’s like a vacation from diabetes. I’ll eat chocolate, a burger, whatever. I won’t freak out if my blood sugar goes over 12 mmol. I’ll be diabetic free for a day. I thought it was a solid plan, but lately, I’ve been justifying eating things I shouldn’t by trying to rationalize it away with, “Oh, I’m having a cheating day.” Wait, what?? I just had one yesterday!
“Do or do not. There is no try.” Obviously, Yoda didn’t have diabetes.